


Everything Has Changed

by Wiccangrrl13



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiccangrrl13/pseuds/Wiccangrrl13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jax returns to Charming after a long absence and finds a lot of changed, and some things never will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
Everything Has Changed

*Come back and tell me why  
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh.  
And meet me there tonight  
And let me know that it's not all in my mind

 

Tara Knowles watches the cars and bikes as they ride loudly in and out of the Teller-Morrow garage. Once upon a time she spent her high school days here, laughing and flirting with Jax or sparring with Gemma. As a mother she knows what Gemma means by being willing to do anything for your children, but in Tara’s case that also means letting her children have their own lives. Gemma, well she had other plans. She looks to her right at the dilapidated playground that had once been so vibrant and filled with the laughter of the clubs many children, whose swings now blow empty in the hot California breeze and she isn’t visiting the garage, she runs it. And Jax is no longer a part of her life.

She had spent the first 6 months after Jax's arrest trying to get him to talk to her. She thought that the day in the hotel, after making the deal with Patterson, when she finally told him she loved him for the first time since she'd been released, that maybe after he served his time he would come to wherever she was. Maybe he'd finally leave SAMCRO. 

Making love to him felt perfect. Only an hour ago she had been so afraid of this man but right then, in the motel room, she couldn't remember why. She knew in her heart of hearts that he would never have hurt her.

That all to brief happiness ended abruptly when she realized he had cut her out of his life entirely. She wasn't allowed to visit him and he cut off all communication with the club as well. She was afraid for Jax and his safety, but the plan was that she take the boys and leave Charming. He had made her promise to move somewhere safe, away from the MC and start a new life for her and her kids. 

So despite any idle hope she’d had for them she moved to Rosamond in Southern California that reminded her of Charming and she got a job pretty easily at the Antelope Valley hospital about 20 min from home so there's wasn't a huge commute which meant more time with her kids. Things were looking up. Though the reality of leaving the MC life behind was easier said then done. Once you were Jax Teller's old lady there wasn't a lot of anonymity in California and the drama of Charming followed her when she was recognized.

Not wanting to wait until thing went from bad to worse she packed up again and moved to Colorado. Getting an amazing job at Children's Hospital Colorado in Aurora. She finally relaxed. This wasn't just a new place, it was a whole new state. The weather was amazing. Summers were warm but not excruciatingly hot, though the winters made her miss California "winters" the kids loved the snow. The community was so welcoming and she hoped she had finally found her bliss.

The fresh start in Colorado provided her happiness and the ability to breath without looking over her shoulder. For two years. Then she met a man. He was funny, and intelligent and seemed light hearted in a way she had grown unaccustomed to. 

Robert was an owner of a local bar, Clutch. Loud music and laughter filled the air most nights at the bar, as did motorcycles, and kuttes. She smiled and was friendly but didn't really socialize with anyone but Robert until one night six months into dating he told her that he was a part of the motorcycle family. The Sons of Silence (SOSMC). 

Tara wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. The irony was not lost on her as he told her the sugar-coated version of what the MC was. How he wanted her to be his Old Lady and how they were all just big teddy bears that loved motorcycles. Conveniently leaving out that he had been one of Six Sons of Silence who were arrested by the ATF in April 2001 on the charges of trafficking cocaine, cannabis and methamphetamine, as well as firearms, throughout the state of Colorado. A quick Google search on him and the club gave her all the information she needed. 

The next day she broke it off. Which Robert didn't take too well. She filed a restraining order after he tried to pick up Abel from school and smashed her hand in her car door when she tried to stop him. She was afraid for her children. Not that she really believed he would obey it but the RO was useless and she found no help from the police. After 3 months of him terrorizing her, Tara, unwilling to play a waiting game any longer did the only thing she could think of. She called Chibs. The guys showed up at her house two days later. Chibs, Juice, Happy, Tig, and a prospect the guys called Wicked Willie all smiled and hugged her. They were the only family she'd known for so long. She missed them so much more then she realized. 

Chibs didn't waste any time. They quickly made their way to Clutch. Once they arrived on scene it didn't take long for an agreement to be reached. SOSMC out of respect for SAMCRO revoked Robert's patch. This wasn't his first offense and they seemed more then happy to take his kutte. There was no way they were going to create drama between the two clubs. In fact the visit turned to business quickly as the boys found a new way to earn by opening another Diosa in Colorado and cutting in the Sons of Silence. Pussy truly was the biggest, most constant income the club had, with two houses in NoCal, two in SoCal and Redwoody they were earning big and legal.

The guys spent the next two days visiting with Tara and the kids and setting up a house for the "companions ". Tara smiled as she recalled when Gemma had told her what Nero had said he did when they'd first met "I'm a companionator. I bring folks together. I'm all about the love." 

She'd moved three times in the past three years and now that Robert had screwed up her hand her surgical days were over. As much as she wanted something different from life these years on the run from the MC made her realize that these men were her family. This MC was in her blood, her DNA, and danger was everywhere. 

Now that SOA was out of guns and earning legally the things she feared the most for Her, Jax and their kids were no longer factors. When it was time for them to leave Tara realized she wanted to leave with them. Wanted to go home. Chibs was not sure it was the right thing to do. He had after all promised Jax that Tara would get a better life but even though he knew he should have fought her harder on this he missed her and the kids. With them around it was like having a small piece of Jax, of First 9 back where it belonged and it just felt right. So he and the guys helped Tara pack up her apt and the kids and moved her home. 

Tara sat in the Teller-Morrow garage and smiled at the rebuilt club house where she and the kids had lived for the first few month of her return. 

"Aye Lassie where your head be at today?" Chibs says as he enters the room planting a sweet kiss on her forehead. 

Tara pulls him back for another quick kiss. "I was just thinking about getting one of the guys to fix up the swing set but after that kiss I'm kind of distracted."

Chibs smirks as he walks into one of the work bays to put the brakes on a Audi. Tara smiled. If you asked her she's not sure she could pinpoint when exactly things between her and Chibs had turned from friends to more then friends. It wasn’t exactly about love. More like companionship and it was a complete surprise to her, but it, He, made her happy and she loved the way Able and Thomas hung on his every word and the way he looked when he held Charlie who would be 6 in June and looked more like her daddy every day. Dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes and a smile that lit up the room and Chibs loved her like she was his own.

* Lyrics from Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift


	2. Cold As You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately. Enjoy and let me know what you think

Chapter 2 

You have a way of coming easily to me  
And when you take, you take the very best of me  
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something  
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

 

Driving through town in his car makes everything seem surreal. Though Charming hadn't changed much in the years he'd been gone it also hadn't stayed the same. A new housing project had opened and the smaller coffee shops have been replaced with Starbucks but the main drag is still small business central and from what he can see as he passes the club still owns the ice cream shop. Though now it actually sells ice cream and seem clear of all but a few club members and is full of family and couples enjoying the sweet treats on this warm June evening. 

Not being able to move too far from the bikes he use to ride in terms on badassness Jax now drives a black 1969 Dodge Charger that he'd rebuilt. Split front grille, full-width taillamps and six-cylinder make it a little less difficult to be inside a cage instead of on the open road. He had a lot of time on his hands after he'd been released. Lowen had found multiple errors in Jax's deal and had gotten him released after 2 years. It was a testament to her skills and commitment. He asked her not to contact anyone in the club and to never let Tara know. He knew before he could even think about seeing her again that he needed to become the man she'd known he could be. He moved to Klamath Falls Oregon and started over. Lived simply. Lived a small life. Worked hard as a mediocre mechanic for a wonderful old man who grew to love Jax like a son.

This man, this one time stranger had taught Jax so many things about what it meant to be a man, a real man, in the short time he'd known him then in all his years with JT or Clay. He'd died about a year ago, a loss that Jax knew would haunt him and in passing he left the garage and his house to Jax. So there he was; a man with his own legit business and his own home. Everything on the up and up and yet he was still missing something. 

It really didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. He'd never been truly complete without Tara, and his boys. Sure there'd been other women. He was after all Jax Teller, but as usual none of them mattered. He knew it was time to show her that he was a different man, a better man now. That he could love her and support her in the ways he always knew he should have.

So when all of the addresses he could find for her online ended in Charming he figured that she really had a dropped out of sight and the only way he might get a lead was to close his shop for the weekend and take a trip to his hometown. Even if the chance was small that the SONS might have some idea of her whereabouts he had to take it.

*********************

 

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
And you come away with a great little story  
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

 

Tig noticed the classic car pulling onto the Teller/Morrow lot just as he was getting ready to close up for the day. It was suppose to be an early day since there would be a party there tonight. Hoping it would be something simple or that the owner wouldn't mind coming back on Monday he approached the car as the man inside stepped out.

"Hey man I'm sorry but we are cutting it short tod.... Holy shit." He dead panned as he realized the man standing before him, looking very different but very much the same, was Jax Teller.

"Bruther!" Jax smiled at the stunned man and hugged him. 

"They finally let your ass out? I know it couldn't have been for good behavior!" 

"That's a long story man." Jax vaguely said.

"Want a beer?" Tig offered and ushered Jax inside the club house. 

The club house has been rebuilt and Jax hardly recognized it, inside and out. It's had big bay windows and was filled with Video games and pool tables. Not much inside says secret society. How the MC conducts business in private was a mystery with all the open areas. It took only seconds for the bar inside to erupt in praise and celebration at the appearance of one of their own after all these year away.

Many of the faces were unfamiliar to Jax but some were family. Tig, Juice, Happy, Bobby. The whole placed smelled like leather, and alcohol and love. It was the only love he'd known until he met Tara, and even then he pulled her into that world instead of following her into hers. He made some small talk but scanned the group for the current president of SAMCRO, Chibs. The church doors opened and Chibs stepped out. He was more then shocked to see Teller standing before him and was frozen in place. It was Jax who made the approach to the man he loved as a friend for almost his entire life. The men embraced and Jax asked to speak privately.

Chibs tentatively moved them back into the church. 

"How you been, man?" Jax asked

"Hanging in there brudah. What brings ye back to Charming?" he asks. But inside he already knows. 

"Tara."

"Stupid question aye." Chibs smiles

" It's been years man and every address I can find for her is here in charming. I figure she took the “fly under the radar” seriously and wondered if the club had any info on her current 20?"

Chibs wasn’t sure how to answer and didn’t realize he had been sitting there in uncomfortable silence until Jax spoke, "Chibs?"

Jax was worried that Chibs was hiding some news about Tara or the boys that he was afraid to tell him. Had something happened to them? Everything he could imagine going wrong ran though his mind and he was about to push the man across from him for more information when the door behind them opened breaking the silence. 

"Please don’t make me stay at this party. It’s for babies.” Abel moans as he walk over and leans on Chibs shoulder. 

Jax looks on in happy silence as Tara enters, and unaware of his presence walked over to Chibs and kisses Filip, handing off the little girl that’s attached to her leg.

And just like that his exuberance at seeing her again shift to one of confusion and finally anger.

"It's your turn." She smiled at him. " I have to set up for the party. There's going to be about 15 6 year olds here in two hours." She doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary at first, it’s only when she’s ready to retreat to pink and purple birthday decoration that she notices the terrified look in Chibs’ eyes, and that Abel seems to be looking in the same direction as the other man. She turns to follow their line of sight and sitting at the far end of the redwood reaper table is none other the Jax Teller. 

There has never been a louder silence and the three stand stuck in that way for what seems like the longest moments of Jax's life. This couldn't be happening. He watches as Tara looks from him, back to Chibs and the beautiful little girl now sitting on his lap. 

"Jax...." Tara starts to speak, but the words are cut short as Jax walks out of the room and out of the club house in complete silence

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say  
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
I've never been anywhere cold as you

Lyrics from Cold As You by Taylor Swift


	3. Talk to Me Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying. I like all feedback, good and bad. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, But thanks to Kurt Sutter.

Chapter 3 - Talk To Me Now

*I am a woman by birth  
and after nineteen times around I have found  
they will stop at nothing once they know what you are worth  
talk to me now

 

It’s been two days since Jax's return and two days since anyone has seen or heard from him. Tara, still livid about the whole thing sits on a wicker chair in her backyard watching the sunrise. She can’t remember the last time she's slept, though she supposes it was two ago. Inside she can hear the hustle and bustle of Chibs getting the kids ready for school and day care. Abel and Thomas are getting so big. Abel knows something’s up. He keeps asking about the man at the clubhouse. She knows sooner or later she’ll have to explain who Jax is. 

Nothing made sense anymore. Not only was Jax out of prison, apparently he'd been out for years and Chibs knew. He knew! It made her sick to her stomach to even think about it. How could he have hidden this from her? She had always been honest with him about all the times she still refused to believe that her and Jax's love story ended this way. The thing that made it easier was that she had no choice. That there was no talking to Jax while he was on the inside, but that one day when he got out he would come home and they would deal with it all. Now, well it felt like a slap in the face that the two men who she loved and claimed to love her had kept this huge secret. 

She kept replaying it over and over in her mind:

"Jax..." She had barely gotten the words out before he took off. This was bad. Really bad. She turned to Chibs, "Filip?"

The scot shook his head. He didn't even know where to start. Tara knows instinctively by this silence that there’s something she’s missing. She asks Juice and Bobby, who are trying to peer in the now open doorway, to take Charlie, Abel and Thomas and closes the doors to chapel behind them. Through it all the man she is currently living with refuses to look her in the eyes. It scares her and Filip has never scared her. Not even when she was a teen. He simply struck her as a good man and until this very moment she has never doubted that assessment. She sits down in what was the V.P. Chair. She is probably the only woman ever allowed in church let alone to sit at the table for any reason, but she wasn't just any woman. She has earned her spot in the club and if women were allowed to patch in she would have been a full fledged member and man/woman(?) of mayhem already for all she'd done for this club. 

"Well?" She questions with more then a little annoyance. It was starting to really piss her off that he was saying nothing.

"Aye don know what to say. I think it's quite obvious that Jackie boy is out." 

"Sarcasm? Really? That's what you want to use right now?"

Silence.

Trying to reign in her anger she gets up and paces the room.

"When? And why didn't we hear from Lowen when he was being released?" This too was followed by silence. "God damn it Filip say something!" 

He runs his hands though his prematurely salt and pepper hair and knows that the shit he is in is about to get deeper.

"I did hear when he was released..."

Tara cuts him off, her fear and frustration getting the better of her. Keeping her cool was never really her strength. "And you didn't think you should tell me??!!"

She's yelling over him and she thinks she hears him continuing to speak and stops dead in her tracks. She is not sure she can trust her own ears, because if she heard him correctly she thinks she might need to sit down.

She looks at Chibs and he nods his head as if to confirm what he said. " Ya heard me correctly mo ghra." He says, his accent thick as he says the last words.

" No. No. NO! You did NOT just say 5 years ago!"

" I did. I don know all the details but he was released two years into the sentence."

The brunette is pacing uncontrollably now. This was all just too much. Too much. "How?"

"Like I said I don know the details.."

" No," she cuts him off. " How do you know? Did he just tell you?" The dreaded silence is the only answer she gets. "Did he!" She yells, her hands landing with such force that it shakes the redwood table where Chibs sits, demanding his attention.

Filip was not a man that had been afraid of much in his life. He hated but was never afraid of Jimmy O, not Fiona, not the Cartels or the rivals MCs, but right now he was terrified to look into her beautiful green eyes. He did so only when he knew he had no other option and the hurt that already reflected in them was about to get so much worse.

"No. He called me after he got out." And right then he saw the color of her eyes change. Not that you could say the shade was different but the light that was always a part of the smile she gave him disappeared.

"Wow" was all she could get her mouth to say. It was actually quite surprising considering the amount of profanity swimming in her mind.

I played the powerless  
in too many dark scenes  
and I was blessed with a birth and a death  
and I guess I just want some say in between

 

" Mommy?" The adorable voice of her middle child, Thomas broke her out of her memory.

" Hey there little man? You ready for school?"

"Uncle Chibs said to come give you a hug." He says as he runs over and jumps in her lap. All of Jax's children were undeniably a Teller. Their hair and completion all screamed Jax but Thomas has her eyes and she can read them like a book. 

"What's wrong buddy?" She asks as she sits him in her lap. He just shrugs. "You know Mommy can make everything better right?" He nods again. 

"Are you ok mommy?" He asks. 

"Why would you ask that? " she inquires of her sensitive son.

"You just look sad." He answers and apparently he can read her eyes as well.

"Well I am a little sad baby but it will all be ok."

"You know I can make it all better." He says mirroring her words. His little face serious with worry lines etching his adorable scrunched up forehead. 

She wants to laugh but doesn't want to offend his earnest response. Instead she says you "You can? How?" 

The little blonde in front of her leans in and kisses her on the forehead the way Filip always does to her when he's being sweet. The action brings tears to her eyes for many reasons. Looking at this little boy who no doubt is going to be a total heartbreaker when we grows up she can’t help but break into a big smile.

"You know what?!" She says in mock shock.

"What?!"

" You were right! I feel better. Thank you for fixing it!"

"I got this," he says in all seriousness

She can't help but smile a real smile, the first one in two days.

"Come on laddie we have ta git ya ta school." Chibs walks onto the patio and sees Tara's smile. It's a real one. It melts his heart and breaks it at the same time. That smile is for her child and while it's well deserved and beautiful he wonders if there will ever be a time that she will smile for him, at him, because of him again. 

He knows it’s wrong to love her. He never planned it. He just knew it was a comfort to have her and the kids home where they belonged. He smiles down softly at Tara as he picks up Thomas and throws him over his shoulder. She simply turns her eyes back to the skyline in front of her without a word to him at all.

don't you understand  
in the day to day  
and the face to face  
I have to act  
just as strong as I can  
just to preserve a place  
where I can be who I am  
so if you still know how  
talk to me now

Lyrics from Talk To Me Now by Ani Difranco


End file.
